Hospitality

I have been thinking lately that I would like to focus on a few Benedictine values this summer in order to have an informed way of working them out in my life. I get a little flustered by the word "neo-monastic" when it is used in smorgasbord fashion - "I'm into the hours but I don't like to get up early." or "I'm not into silence. I need my music. I do like solitude though because people bug me." Right. These different paths are meant to inform me and teach me what I need which often is very far from what I want. These things can have a context but they should not be so far removed from the original intent that they become something else altogether.

I find I need to work through this slowly. I read history and biography. I have conversations with friends. I remember past experiences.

I have a few things to process with the value of hospitality. Benedict's Rule says "Receive each guest as Christ." and I am wondering how this works itself out practically. I watched as my mother, then a pastor's wife, nearly lost her life and mind washing sheets, cooking meals, and cleaning house as people selfishly streamed through the pastor's house expecting food and shelter. This was a pastor's job. Our house became a cheap hotel not mostly for those in need but for those in greed. A few bucks saved on the way to somewhere else.

I followed in the same footsteps. As a young adult leader, I had an open door policy without boundaries that eventually led to burnout and many lost years of health. Society seems increasingly fragmented and an open door and a listening ear can lead to lineups around the block. As a result, I have taken some steps back in order to restore and to rethink how "Receive each guest as Christ." works in my context.

So I come back to the value of hospitality with quite a few bruises and sore muscles wondering how to work it out in a community setting. I watch as money and time is poured into church services that operate for those who stay in one place and who are at that same place every weekend. But I constantly meet people in transition. Their lives are in many cities for work or school or holy wanderings and they would benefit from houses of hospitality in a variety of places as an expression of "ecclesia".

I have found that much of the hospitality demonstrated by church plants to be thinly veiled recruiting campaigns. Many of my artist friends are wined and dined so they will "use their talents for the church". When they say no, the "hospitality" ends. Leader types are "invested in" and when that investment does not pay out, poof goes the warm invitations to friendship and the breaking of bread. It's a pretty sick way to look at human beings and hospitality too.

So I am confused. There are no easy fixes to my combination of bad experience and hopeful yearning. I do not look to a sentimental expression of hospitality in the good old days and I do not want to childishly toss out this value because of its difficulty. I have a few resources I've been looking at lately and I'll be posting them over the next few days. I'm going to start listing some of the Benedictine Values under the categories so we will have some resources. Chime in at misseenie at mailblocks dot com should you have a resource to add to the fray. (Maybe I'll give you a pot roast if you help me...)